swingset

Looking into the silky galaxy,

I’m infused with hope and security;

the stars are old friends of mine,

though I can’t quite remember their names.

This is precisely what everybody told me was possible to feel,

this is why I stayed a l i v e…

Actually, I stayed alive out of cowardice and lack of authenticity.

My heart beats fraudulently

and my veins are still highways

carrying only pain and sorrow.

Please, I’m not happy!

Will I be broken forever?

I don’t particularly like this feeling,

this feeling of, gosh,

I can’t even think of the word.

What if I never get better?

I don’t think a person can live too long,

when being bombarded and shamed and,

God, the guilt, it’s too much and I don’t wannafeelanymoremaybeIcandosomethingnewnoItriedeverything Ijustwantittostopmakeitstopmakeitstopstop STOP.

Oh, hey, the stars are still there.

I could get used to this feeling.

(r.w.)